How To Be A Good Conversationalist?

We make conversation several times a day. How much of it is effective? How does one gauge the effectiveness of conversation? For this you need to analyse whether the person you spoke to has understood what you were saying. The way you speak and the words you choose for conveying your thoughts influence the way the listener interprets your thoughts. Therefore, if you pay sufficient attention to certain aspects of your speech, you can effortlessly turn into a good conversationalist.

The following are a few tips, following which one can master the art of conversation.

Know your subject well
Whatever it is that you are talking about; ensure that you know your subject well. It is only when your speech is backed by conviction that the voice will also carry it and consequently you will sound confident. And remember it is the tone of the voice that decides whether the listener is attentive or not. In case you are new to the topic being discussed, indicate so and be sufficiently attentive in order that you may absorb as much information on the subject as possible.

What to do when another person talks
Step one is very simple. Listen. Let's consciously remember that hearing and listening are two different things. When you listen, what you have heard registers.
Secondly, let us also remember that a conversation is a two-way process. Do not dominate the scene by talking continuously. If you do so, then the conversation will turn into a lecture. Always give the other person a chance to voice his or her own opinion and listen to him. Pay attention to what he or she is saying. Not listening might be construed as being disrespectful. It could boomerang on you - when you talk the others might not listen. “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” is a cardinal rule.

It is advisable not to interrupt when others talk. If for some reason you do need to interrupt, begin with a loud and clear “Excuse me.” Such a gesture will get you everyone’s attention and additionally, your coming in will not be viewed as an interruption, but as a welcome input. However, do be careful not to do so too frequently.

Body language
Like in every communication, body language is very important. Avoid fidgeting, looking away or worse, yawning. Doing so carries a sure message that you are bored. This will bring down the level of enthusiasm of the participant and the conversation is likely to head towards an unpleasant or abrupt end. Doodling, crackling your knuckles, looking away and looking at your watch repeatedly are all indications of being uninterested and bored. Therefore, it is important that you take care not do any of these things.

Look at the person who is talking. Your doing so will automatically infuse enthusiasm in him or her. This is the best indication of your being involved with the subject and your being with the person who is talking. Besides, you might pick up things unsaid through his or her expressions and body language.

When you end a conversation...
It is essential to be polite and do it in a very gentle manner. Abrupt closure and walking away will be considered rude and make you unpopular. Give yourself a little time for winding up politely and warmly. Keep an eye on the clock if needed and a short while before you have to leave, insert an appropriate comment about how you are having a good time and are loathe leaving. It is advisable to wait for a lull in the conversation and indicate that you have to leave. Do make it a point to make eye contact with everyone while taking your leave. Needless to say, a genuine smile speaks louder and more effectively than words, when it comes to conveying the message of warmth and friendship.