Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!

Why do our noses run and our feet smell?

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow

When you judge others you dont define them you define yourself.. :-)

The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?

You're looking at perfection, and it ain't you!

Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Never wish on 1 star more than 1nce cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!

I know that you know that I know that you think I'm the best, that's why you never tell me

We both know I'm the best, that's why you never tell me

Women/Men are proof that women/men can take a joke

As long as my boss pretends that I'm earning much, I'm pretending that I work hard

An answer to that nagging question............... I let the dogs out!

What do an Icebear have after swimming? Snowballs!

Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend

Girls/Boys are great, every boy/girl should own one

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When I'm good, I'm really good, but when I'm bad I'm better

I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!

I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet

English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

You may laugh because I'm different but I laugh because you're all the same

If at first you dont succeed skydiving isnt for you

Take a break like it is a sort of screen saver!

I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ;-)

Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters

For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!

I'm cool, I'm hot....I'm everything you're not

You and the bank own a very lovely home

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

You don't buy the drink here, you only rent it

All racists who are prepared to die for their country, why not now?

That money talks I don't deny... I just heard mine yell: Goodbye!!

I'm not a follower... I'm a leader with the same idea

This is where Napolean beat his bone-a-part

First law of science: don't spit into the wind

I refuse to join any club that would have me for a member

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it

Do you got with me get lost? I know the way

It was a brave man who ate the first oyster

There are three types of economists. Those who can count, and those who can't

Sure, there's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised

I don't hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on

I love deadlines, especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by

Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door

A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings

Who's cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it?

Fat people are harder to kidnap

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten

Passwords are like underwear: change them often

Next time wave all your fingers at me!