A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken.

Software is like sex; if you feel the need to pay for it you can always find someone willing to take your money.

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.

Dick Brandon

If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

...If a program is useless, it will have to be documented

If a program is useful, it will have to be changed...

If you torture the data enough, it will confess.

Ronald Coase

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't.

Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal if you are all thumbs.

Tom Lehrer

Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal if you are all thumbs.

Glaser

Programmers do it bit by bit.

Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult for the Computer Scientist.

F. L. Bauer

Why would anyone ever turn off their computer?

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Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it.

Seymore Cray

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens ?

Seymore Cray