A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

There is nothing that a kick in the balls or a pressure on reset won't solve.

The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila.

Mitch Ratcliffe

A computer's attention span is only as long as its power cord.

All computers wait at the same speed

The only thing more dangerous than a hardware guy with a code patch is a programmer with a soldering iron.

I dropped my computer on my foot ! That Megahurtz!

Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.

Linus T

If it wasn't backed-up, then it wasn't important.

To go forward, you must backup.

A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.

Joseph Campbell

If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off when I shoot it?

The Covert Comic

SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it.

Version 1 of any software is full of bugs. Version 2 fixes all the bugs and is great. Version 3 adds all the things users ask for, but hides all the great stuff in Version 2.

Fred Blechman

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.

Clifford Stoll