I am sitting in the smallest room in the house. I have your letter in front of me. Soon it will be behind me.

Any time you pass by my door I'd sure appreciate it.

You might have been bred in Texas but here you're just another crumb.

You certainly take a long time making your pointless.

Midgets are the last to know when it's raining.

Larry Tucker

It's not nice to make fun of fat people--but what the hell, they can't catch you.

I do not wish to speak ill of a person behind his back, but I believe he's an attorney.

Samuel Johnson

I think it's really cute that you're a feminist.

If your life is really full, nothing you will ever lose will make you very unhappy very long.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Why should I be sensible if it prevents me from being happy?

Augustine Birrell

Why do I always feel so much worse whenever I see things more clearly?

Ashleigh Brilliant

One can live well even in a palace.

Marcus Aurelius

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.

The grapes are always sweetest on the slopes of a live volcano.

We tire of the pleasures we take but never of those we give.