People don't change because they see the light. They change because they feel the heat.

Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Confucius

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would take many men many months to equal it.

"I could have done it in a much more complicated way," said the Red Queen, immensely proud.

Lewis Carroll

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

Joan Rivers

Don't ever confuse motion with progress.

Everyone lives by selling something.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

James Thurber

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Mel Brooks

If you can look into the mirror without laughter, you have no sense of humor.

A sense of humor is the lubricant of life's machinery.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything - even poverty - you can survive it.

Bill Cosby

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says...What is this, a joke?

Behind every successful woman...is a basket of dirty laundry.

Sally Poe

Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.

Stephanie Piro