The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it's more like a tired feeling, really.

Paula Poundstone

Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent and the serpent didn't have a leg to stand on.

Sunday school: a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

H.L. Mencken

The Bible is literature, not dogma.

George Santayana

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

George Bernard Shaw

It will not do to investigate the subject of religion too closely, as it is apt to lead to infidelity.

Abraham Lincoln

God has been replaced, as he has all over the West, with respectability and air conditioning.

Imamu Amiri Baraka

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

George Bernard Shaw

People who rely most on God rely least on themselves.

Lemuel K. Washburn

All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry.

Edgar Allan Poe

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.

John Lennon

I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do.

D. Dale Gulledge

Religion: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Ambrose Bierce

Jim Bakker spells his name with 2 k's because 3 would be too obvious.

Bill Maher